Moncton. I have a very negative connotation attached to this little city. The last time I was in Moncton was at the 2010 World Junior Championships. Although this should’ve been the experience of a lifetime, it was one of the worst times of my life. It was a few days after I found out the coach at the NCAA school that I signed with quit, and while all my Canadian teammates talked about how excited they were to head off to school I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was going to do. It was almost August.
I felt hopeless. The Canadian team stayed in a residence near the track. I would lay in my bed until 4am staring at the ceiling wondering what the future held for me. I felt like a victim. I worked so hard to earn a full scholarship at a good school with a good coach and I had it ripped from my hands before I even got to feel it. I didn’t sleep. I barely ate – I lost 10 pounds in the 1 week that I was there. I closed myself off and didn’t allow myself to make new friends or have fun or even compete at the level I knew I was capable of. I was a complete mess. I was heartbroken. When I think of Moncton, I think of one very unhappy girl.
I wish I could go back to that 18 year old sobbing to herself in the boiling hot residence just a few hours before she competed against the best in the world, and tell her that things work out and that she doesn’t need to worry about the future. I wish I wouldn’t of let what I was going through take away from my experience and affect me the way that it did. I wish I could do that experience in Moncton over again.
Well, I’m kind of getting another chance. On Wednesday I head to Moncton to defend my title at the Canadian Track and Field Championships. I am unbelievablely excited because I know I’m ready. I’ve worked my butt off all year – all my life – and now it’s time for the big show.
Moncton, let’s try again, shall we? -CARO
PS. “Life stories with themes of ruin can trap us. Life stories that are triumphant can transform us.”